Obsession.
Written on Wednesday, April 14, 2010 by Jason Wee
Settled. I thought, as I changed to a reserve. No more peer pressure, no more mockery of physical weakness. But noo, as God put it somehow that someone just had to not show up. Stumbling down to the field while trying to hook on my number, I thought to myself feelings of embarrassment and disappointment. So I ran just for the sake of running, not like I could be any faster than anybody else. I wondered, why didn't the 3rd runner start to jog? I asked, like it was my fault.
Later, the 3rd runner scolded me in the stands, blamed me for the decrease of speed I put upon us. Insults, not a word of encouragement. Sakit jiwa, I thought. As he sat down and still had that mentality in mind, I knew this horrible team philosophy is like, you know, bad. With the little amount of 100plus I had holding in my hands, I sat down in front of him and splashed him right in the face.
"Wake up" I said. "Winning isn't everything".
Him, completely shocked, I continued, "Its the experience you get, giving your best try is the best thing anyone can do". Or something like that. He then put up a fight (words, I mean), and compared a 4x100m run in a school to the Olympics and Michael Phelps. His words, "people don't remember you if you get silver or bronze, its GOLD".
..
I think I come to a point in my life where I'm sick of this mentality which I had. Winning, achievements, posts. Expectations are for ourselves, not anyone else. As long as we gained something from it, it's good enough. Trials and errors can a person go through, but he can't conquer the world.
So what if there's no victory? I would like to think there's victory in our brains, cheering for new experience gained. Then again, who said the brain was any less than the body? Brain-ers, how often pubble down achievements to others. The tongue is sharper than the sword, no less.
My point is today, that I'm done with all these obsessions. A step forward in life and I should never take this mentality up again.
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