The Long Story
Written on Wednesday, April 08, 2009 by Jason Wee
The question has been popping up to me like super loads of times. So I rather solve it all right here. Lengthy.
So actuallyy, it all starts right from the beginning during the Prefect recruitment drive. Which I did apply, and remember that time when all the prefects got humiliated by being called on stage? It was that day which I went for prayer meeting for the first time. And it blow'ed me away. At the end of that day I told Pn. Choong I decided to quit to go for prayer meeting.
So it was settled.
But two weeks later,
On a Friday, after school, Puan Choong asked me to be a probate again, I thought about it over the weekend, and on Monday, I saw Pn. Choong and well, she said her current probates are like statues, and she needed a new Head Prefect. So I reluctantly gave into it.
On Monday, which wasn't too long ago, I came to school early all awkward and stuff. Followed Lisa around, and during assembly, I think I accidentally became a bit to harsh on the Form2 guys. Carried on as usual, and received gigantic slash of sexism in ICTL class.
During prefect recess, I felt overly disclosed. None of the guys that I would normally chat casually with, all of a sudden got too engrossed in their food. Lisa put me under Sher Wu, which he assigned me to an area in the canteen, which is quite predictable. But, but, such..
emptiness of the soul during duty. It was unbelievably endless. I never felt such a low level of stress in an open environment before. It was.. suffer.
And it hit me. It doesn't matter, WHO, or WHERE, its all the same thing. No matter how you see it, it's impossible to just stand there as a statue. And the awkwardness of being in my class and not jagaing it when it's noisy, it was overwhelming. And then, was when I decided to quit.
No longer feeling anxiety, after school I tried to find Pn. Choong. Almost giving up and ready to get out of the school, Pn. Choong came down from the stairs. I took it straight forward and said
"Puan Choong, I don't think it's working out. It doesn't feel right. I want to quit."
My main reason that it was very lifeless, and that even led on to commenting bout the whole Prefectorial Board, and even comparing it to SKTM's one.
And then, I started to tear. (not cry. tear. as in tears.)
Pn. Choong took it to the gazebo and ended at around 7.20pm. While there, we discussed about how the day was for me, and even the whole area tactic. And such as so, brought up about sktm, and brought up maturity of the prefects, conducting to feelings of being threaten, as she told me I was being moulded into the Head Prefect, and the others were racing for the title.
It's all a blur to me, but my final reason was self progression. With the state of F1's low maturity, it seems like I'm going back. Wayy back. And she let me off. I gave her back my tag and book.
Settled?
